Life is complex, unpredictable, and full of challenges. While we are on our own path, it is easy to reflect on our childhood and find fault with our parents. Sometimes people hold grudges against their parents because they think they should have handled certain situations differently. However, one fundamental truth is often overlooked: your parents were not put on this earth just to serve you—they were figuring things out, too.
They Were Learning as They Went
Just like us, our parents didn’t come with a manual on how to raise children perfectly. They had to figure things out through trial and error, just as we do with our own challenges. Every decision they made—right or wrong—came from the knowledge and experiences they had at the time. Expecting them to have been perfect is not only unrealistic but also unfair.
They Had Their Own Struggles
Before they were parents, they were individuals with dreams, fears, and hardships. They had their own battles—financial struggles, emotional wounds, or societal pressures. Often, they did the best they could with what they had. If they fell short in some areas, it wasn’t because they didn’t care; it was because they were human, too.
Besides, who told you life was supposed to be fair? Everyone faces struggles, and blaming your parents for yours won’t change anything.
Perspective Changes Everything
As children, we see things through our limited understanding. But as adults, we can step back and view situations with maturity. Instead of blaming our parents, we can acknowledge their efforts, understand their limitations, and appreciate what they got right. This shift in perspective allows us to heal and grow.
Blame Keeps You Stuck, Forgiveness Sets You Free
Embracing responsibility releases you from the burden of the past. To put it another way, it stops you from developing as an individual and accepting responsibility for your actions. Forgiving your parents doesn’t mean denying their mistakes; it means choosing to let go of resentment and moving forward with peace. At some point, you have to stop crying over what went wrong and start focusing on what you can do about it.
Focus on What You Can Control
Your parents shaped your early years, but as an adult, your life is in your hands. Instead of dwelling on what they did or didn’t do, focus on your growth. Learn from their mistakes, break negative cycles, and create the life you want. The sooner you stop playing the victim, the sooner you’ll reclaim your power.
Conclusion
No parent is perfect, just as no child is perfect. They made mistakes, just as you will. Understanding this simple truth fosters empathy, healing, and gratitude. Rather than blaming them for what they lacked, appreciate what they gave and use it as a foundation to build a better future for yourself. After all, they didn’t owe you perfection—they were just trying to survive, just like you are now. Furthermore, they genuinely cared about you, so it's important to comprehend their intentions and extend forgiveness, bearing in mind that they were also navigating life's challenges through experience and learning. And if you are 18, you have full control of your life; do the best for yourself, as you can bring change the moment you wish for it.
Beautifully articulated. I echo with your thoughts.
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